Nothing can disrupt your sleep like loud snoring. The worst is when the snoring isn't even coming from you! If you have a partner who snores very loudly, this can be a source of conflict for both you. They feel like you're nagging them and you feel like you can't get any sleep because of the one man band you sleep next to.

It's normal to feel frustrated by a snoring partner. Getting low-quality sleep that is often interrupted by your partner's loud noises can cause a lot of irritation, mostly due to the fact that you are sleep-deprived. Regardless how long you think you slept, having low quality sleep due to a snoring partner is the same as getting a couple hours of quality sleep - it's just not enough. But, before you spazz on your partner or get ready to call it quits, here is a little more context on your partner's snoring and what they can do about it.  

What is snoring, and what causes it? 

Snoring is a sound caused by the inability of air to move freely through your nose and throat while one is sleeping. This makes the tissues around that area vibrated which leads to the snoring sound. There are many causes to this including age, being overweight or out of shape, a large tongue, nasal or sinus problems, substance use, and sleep posture. All of these can impact the size and shape of breathing space causing the vibration, and therefore, the snoring. 

In most cases, snoring is just an annoying noise. However, snoring can be an implication of a more serious disorder, and it's important that you, the partner, rule them out. As the sleeping partner, you are the advocate on what happens throughout the night, so if you notice any of the following, you should encourage your partner to see someone: 

• Gasping for air 
• Complete cessation of breathing for moments at a time or an uneven breathing pattern
• Excessive sleepiness during the day

These may be signs of sleep apnea which may require more treatment as sleep apnea can be a dangerous disorder. 

How to talk to your partner about their snoring 

Talking to your partner about snoring can be awkward and the source of disagreements and arguments. However, it doesn't have to be. All it takes is some understanding from both sides about how the other is being affected. 

Remember, your partner may have no idea how badly they are snoring, so you may seem like you are being dramatic or nagging them about nothing. If this is a constant conversation or something you berate them for, then they may become defensive and not want to have a conducive conversation. 

When approaching your partner about their snoring, it may be useful to remember a few tips: 

• Wait until later in the day to speak with them. If you attack them first thing in the morning they may be disoriented and confused, which could turn into upset and defensive. Bring it up when they're in a good mood and in a conversational tone. 
• Address your concerns with the angle of being concerned about their health and advocating for their well being instead of just talking about how your sleep is interrupted. By bringing them into it, they may be more inclined to take your concerns seriously. 
• If snoring has forced you into separate bedrooms, then let your partner know you miss sleeping with them and want to find a solution to get you back in the same bed. 
• Come up with a solution before you even speak with your partner so you have a way to fix their problem. Pitch it to them as a suggestion and see what their opinions are. 

Steps you and your partner can take together 

What may be even more impactful when talking to your partner is coming up with steps you can take together. Often, the causes of snoring are lifestyle and can be fixed with some lifestyle changes. If your partner smokes or needs to lose weight, these are tasks that you can take with them. 

It's more encouraging to take these steps when your partner knows they've got a partner in their journey. If you can support your partner to do what they've got to do to be safe, and reduce their snoring, then you will definitely benefit on the backend. 

Source: 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/snoring-tips-to-help-you-and-your-partner-sleep-better.htm#

https://snoreeze.com/news/how-to-talk-to-your-partner-about-their-snoring-without-fighting/