When you experience sleep challenges and sleep deprivation, it is exhausting. Literally. And it seems like the harder you try, the more trouble you have with sleep. You can read all the articles you want to (including this blog), try all the apps, make all the changes, but it just seems like sleep is still not coming. This is not because you are doing anything wrong. But, it has to do with the fact that sleep is a passive process. 

There is nothing you can do to make sleep come on, no matter how tired you are. You just have to let it come to you, which is easier said than done. The key is to not focus on going to sleep, but to focus on the two aspects that drive sleep: drive and arousal. The other tips on the internet do inherently try to achieve high sleep drive and lower arousal, but with too much emphasis on getting sleep, rather than reducing the causes of not achieving those two factors. 

Continue reading to find out how you can do less to sleep more. 

Give up trying to sleep tonight 

This is not the most optimistic advice, but as you read this article, do not hope to have the best night of sleep tonight. It's not going to happen if you have been struggling to sleep for a while. However, there are steps you can take to improving sleep in the future. It takes time to get the right environment, routine, etc. to help you achieve sleep. So by going in every night with the expectation that "tonight is going to be the night", you just set yourself up for failure and frustration. Make sleep a long-term goal, and take the pressure off of yourself to achieve a perfect night's sleep tonight. 

Breathe less 

James Nestor, the author of the book Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, claims that humans breathe much more than they need to. This results in an increase in blood pressure, which keeps our bodies in a state of hyperarousal. It's better to spend certain parts of the day slowing down our breathing and focusing on relaxing. By reducing our breathing rate from 12-20 per minute, to 5-10 per minute, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the part of our nervous system that is responsible for "rest and digest". By activating it with slower breathing, we can address the issues of hyperarousal that make it more challenging to sleep. 

Find certain parts of the day where you are sitting comfortably to practice this. Breathe in for five seconds and out for seven seconds to achieve a slower rate of breathing. You can do this while watching TV, or when you feel really upset. It's a way to help condition yourself to calm down, while also gradually reducing the state of hyperarousal throughout the day. Preparing for sleep is not an activity that takes place just in the wee hours before actually going to bed. But, it takes all day to address some of the factors playing a role in your sleep difficulties. 

Focus on the 16:8 sleep/wake ratio

One of the issues with getting enough sleep is just not having enough sleep pressure to actually be sleepy at bedtime. When this happens, you just lie in bed, hoping to fall asleep, but your body is just not ready. This is when focusing on the 16:8 sleep/wake ratio can come in handy. Wake up at the same time everyday, and then plan to go to bed roughly 16 hours later. Don't obsess over the number of hours of sleep you're getting. The important part of sleep is making sure your body is actually sleepy enough to fall asleep right when you get in the bed, instead of you just lying there for hours on end, becoming more anxious about the little amount of time you're actually getting to sleep. 

Make your routine enjoyable 

In the effort to get a good night's sleep, you may find yourself doing things in your bedtime routine that you don't particularly enjoy, but that you think are necessary. If your bedtime routine is taking up much of your evening, and you are doing things that you think will help you get to sleep, but haven't actually achieved that yet, then it's time to switch it up and do something else. Reclaim your evening and do things you enjoy, even if they go against conventional sleep advice. The most important aspect of preparing for bed is to be relaxed, and if you dread doing things, but you've read they are great for sleep, then you are not in the right frame of mind to actually prepare for bed. 

Have a positive attitude about being awake 

One of the things that can drive insomnia is the fear of being awake. There is such a negative association of being awake because it normally happens at the expense of much-needed sleep. To retrain your brain to not react this way towards being awake, think positively about your wakefulness. When you would like to be asleep but just can't, take that time to do something mundane, but pleasurable. This could include listening to a podcast, reading a book, or playing a low stimulating game. By changing your attitude about wakefulness, you reduce the anxiety that can further drive insomnia. 

Smile more 

This sounds silly, but smiling while you're lying there, upset that you can't sleep, can have the opposite effect on your brain. Instead of getting stressed out, you actually will trigger positive feelings and neurotransmitters in your brain. Smiling has calming effects, even if the smile is completely fake. 

Think about a fun memory, or some other pleasurable time. Not only does this take your mind off of sleeping, but it allows you to experience joy with being awake. Reducing hyperarousal requires you to be in a more relaxed state which can be achieved with positive exercises such as this. 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/24/want-to-get-a-good-nights-sleep-first-of-all-stop-trying